Nudging the heart wide open
So good it almost hurts
Hello dear one,
I want to know what nudges your heart wide open.
Is it the ocean breeze? Or the sunshine on your cheeks? The sound of your children’s laughter? Your lover’s touch? A moment of stillness in the beauty of the late afternoon shadows? Or the sweetness of a perfectly ripe peach touching your tongue? The dappled sunlight on the forest floor? A candle lit in the evening? Your grandmother’s voice? A lullaby from childhood?
Do you stop to notice?
Does it feel so good it almost hurts?
Do you let it break you?
Do you stay with it long enough for the tears to come?
Do you let it wash through you?
Do you trust that you can handle the opening?
Today, I feel the tenderness of my own heart wide open.
I’m noticing the part of me that would rather run than feel the goodness of these moments.
“Is it safe to slow down, to drink in this kind of slow, gentile, languid joy?” I hear a familiar voice questioning from within.
Today, I’m trusting that it’s safe.
Today, I’m staying with it, noticing, breathing into the opening.
Today, I feel strong enough for the tenderness, and the joy, and the pain, and the infinite and vast layers that encompass each of these heart-opening moments.
Today, I am practicing presence in the tenderness
May we trust that it is safe to slow down.
May we know that we are worthy of slowing down.
May we practice self-honoring in every moment.
A night out at Sweedeedee with Che. A long-time favorite of ours, but a first time there for dinner. The most delicious flavors accented by the sound of “yummmm” between nearly every bite. A playlist that had us swaying in our seats and shazaming (is that a word yet?) nearly every song. Windows wide open, candles lit, the sweetest host, punctuated by after-dinner cornflower tea which smelled just as good as it tasted. We shared the details of the dreams in our hearts and mused about books we’re reading. Che explained the anatomy of a cricket through drawings. And then we drove home under the stars both exclaiming with surprised delight that, “It really felt like a real date tonight!” Such is being a parent to two small children when the rare night out often becomes an unwanted but necessary time to discuss all the adult things that need discussing, i.e. budgets, meal plans, the latest challenges, and frustrations.
Che, drawing crickets. Hearing Omi’s brave little voice articulate his fear to his teacher as I turned to leave him on his first day of school, “I’m scared.” How it both breaks my heart that he should ever feel that way, while simultaneously giving me so much hope that he feels safe enough to express himself so clearly. So many big heavy sobbing mama tears as I walked through the woods holding Che’s hand after the first day drop off. Knowing that it is but one of many moments where I’ll feel part of my own heart leave my body as it walks out bravely into the world. A profound act of trust and faith.
Joy in running free. “It was a sky you would have painted.” Che’s description of the view on his way to work.
The smell of this in the quiet evening in the glow of candlelight.
Daily walks.
A deepening devotion to morning ritual.
Soothed by a newfound contentment.
Experiments with sourdough bread. A practice in failure tolerance.
A loaf that looked better than it tasted, but was celebrated as a success all the same. The coolness of autumn mornings.
A grounding reconnection to an inner foundation.
Schedule a 45 minute coaching session here!
Each session is held on zoom and $11/session.
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These sessions are for anyone who’s looking to create more awareness around a challenge you may be experiencing, a dream that’s been growing in your heart, or anything else that may be coming up for you.
Coaching is not consulting or advice-giving (you know yourself better than anyone after all), but rather it’s a container for opening to what is already within you with the support of someone who can hold space, reflect without judgment, and help you inquire within through powerful questions.
You can find out a bit more about coaching with me here. And if you have any other questions, please reply to this email and ask away!
With endless love and deep gratitude,
Raina
www.findingstillness.one
@findingstillness.one
