Living in the details
Awakening to the truth of who we are
Hello love,
I’m slowly underlining my way through Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones which I found in a little bookshop in Taos, NM on a solo trip at the end of March. The book is made up of many short essays which guide one through different ways of approaching the art and practice of writing. In one of them, titled The Power of Detail, Goldberg writes, “Our lives are at once ordinary and mythical. . . . Let it be known, the earth passed before us. . . . It is important to . . . write the details of our lives. . . . Our task is to say a holy yes to the real things of our life as they exist—the real truth of who we are.“ It’s had me thinking about the details of my life in the past couple of weeks.
Here are a few of those details that found their way into words:
Listen for the birds—
We lay in bed with the windows open, curtains gently dancing in the soft breeze. Four warm bodies woven together under linen sheets. The little ones wiggle endlessly, their eyes wide and ready for the day at six am. Meanwhile, we grasp at just a few more minutes of rest, whispering, “Hush. Listen for the birds singing us awake.”
How deeply connected—
Our backs resting against the trunk of a lifeless tree, weathered by the wind and salt air. We held hands and watched as the sailboats floated across the water, mirrored by the wings of the seagulls soaring across the blue sky. You said you loved me more than anything and that I’d be okay without you, no matter what happened. And for the first time, I felt the sting of the truth in your words; how our love is so much bigger, deeper, truer than anything floating in the impermanence of life. That it will go on beyond us. And I cried at the heartbreaking beauty and the tender power, set free from fear, guided into this truth that, no matter how far away we may seem to get from one another, we’ll never really be apart. How ironic to have only been able to find my way to this truth, of how deeply connected we are, by way of exploring the space in our perceived separation. And what a simple truth it is, as e.e. cummings wrote up so sweetly, “I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.” And how important to remember to not stop at simply reading these words as they are spread ad nauseam across tea towels, notebook covers, and greeting cards, but to practice feeling their meaning deep in our bones.
With wild abandon—
I took a walk through a neighborhood I used to live near. The air was cool and summer floated on the breeze and in the late afternoon sun as it cast long shadows through the streets. I stopped on a corner and looked up one hundred feet to the top of an enormous tree and it’s abundance of lush green leaves. The wind blew stronger up there and the top of this giant tree danced back and forth with wild abandon, all the while rooted solidly at its base. Someone walked quickly by, feet hitting the concrete with blinding focus. I stood there staring up and smiled to myself; to remember to pause long enough to notice. And I noticed how I too felt rooted in myself, at home in my body in a way I’ve never known before. And in this embodied feeling there’s a certain kind of freedom. When you feel so rooted within, connected to self; freedom to dance with wild abandon. I ended the walk with the sweetness of a cinnamon horchata-flavored popsicle dripping down my hand, still smiling, my inner child delighted by this gift of time spent together.
May we sink into the ordinary moments
of our lives and stay awake to the mythical.
May we practice letting go, heart wide open, noticing.
May we come to know the real truth of who we are.
May we feel the vulnerability of
the vast ocean of love within each of us.
May we dance with wild abandon.
“It is safe to feel uncomfortable.” A belief I’m slowly integrating. It takes time to learn that discomfort and fear aren’t the things we needed to run from. That it’s safe to feel it. That it’s important to feel it. And to trust that we can take care of ourselves and reach for and receive support when we need it.
This song. The whole album in defense of my own happiness. Thank you, Joy.
On Sunday I leave for Europe. I’ll be in London for six days. Where should I go? What must I see? Eat? Do? If you’ve got any recommendations I’d be oh so happy to hear them! You can reply directly to this email :)
Ace of Pentacles — A reminder that abundance abounds. Start by feeling the earth beneath your feet, it is always there holding infinite possibility, opportunity, nourishment, support. Don’t forget to notice and connect with its presence.
Also, I’m very excited to share that I’m setting up a shop (online to start) where I’ll have this beautiful tarot deck available along with a few other things to support us in finding stillness. More to come in the next few months!
With endless love and deep gratitude,
Raina
www.findingstillness.one
@findingstillness.one
P.S. We’ve been journeying through the elements together learning ways to cultivate inner balance and connect with embodied support as we move with the ebb and flow of the year.
You can read the first in the series here, and if you’d like to join us you can update your subscription through the Substack website or app.
Each monthly newsletter in this offering will include:
• An introduction to the element corresponding to the current zodiac sign
• How that element and sign manifest in our lives and how we can support ourselves by nurturing that energy within us
• Journal prompts for reflecting
• Affirmations for integrating
• A few practices for engaging with the element
• Plus a guided meditation
And if you know someone who might be interested in joining, I’d be very grateful if you would pass along this link!
