Creating space between extremes
Exploring the in the world of “and/both”
Hello sweet friend,
In a conversation recently, someone reflected that I seem to live my life in the either/or, rather than the and/both. I’ve been noticing and watching where this happens and it seems to be true.
I live much of the time between extremes, making sense of myself through contrasting comparisons. I’m either happy or sad, beautiful or ugly, good or bad, productive or lazy, I’m on or I’m off, a good mom or not. And even in this noticing there emerges a sneaking judgment, which leaves little room to hold myself in the truth of what is.
I exist in the infinite space between these extremes and often the most confining element of it all is the judgment held in the idea that one experience could be deemed more valid than another.
Sometimes I’m happy and sometimes I’m sad, and sometimes I feel beautiful and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I flow and sometimes I ebb, and sometimes I’m on and other times I’m not, and through it all I am, and that is enough.
This song. While walking in the evening just before the sun dips below the horizon. “Let me live in the wild tonight.” Mmmm. Something good.
Che and I started a biweekly Wednesday night ritual where we meet for couples therapy followed by date night while my sister graciously puts our little ones to bed. I don’t know that it would work for everyone, sometimes a lot can come up in therapy, and space alone is needed. But for us, it feels like one of the most nurturing things we’ve done together in a while. We open it all up and then take our tender hearts to connect over tasty food, finding so much joy in these rare moments to share our dreams uninterrupted.
“It’s safe to get my hopes up.” Something I’ve been repeating to myself a lot this week. Grateful for the gift of being able to choose new, more supportive, and expansive beliefs in each and every moment.
With endless love and deep gratitude,
Raina
